


What's that in your eye? Oh yeah, it's a sparkle.

by whyamIalwaysLoislane (Whyamialwaysloislane)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Barista Stiles Stilinski, Clown Warning, Derek fucked up and just wants an easy year, Fluff, Innuendo, M/M, Pick Up Lines, Stiles' works everywhere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 15:06:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3124661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whyamialwaysloislane/pseuds/whyamIalwaysLoislane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek just wants to have a calm, peaceful second year at College, full of work and studying. Instead he gets given a loud, annoying barely legal boy, with a stupid mouth who keeps trying to seduce him through bad pickup lines.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's that in your eye? Oh yeah, it's a sparkle.

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO I hath returned, hopefully for a good bit. I should be doing a few more in the BAd Pick Up lines series and one might be a sequel to this, I'm not sure yet. 
> 
> This was formed through an aggressive love of pick up lines, and all of my friends hating me for them. 
> 
> ALL THE PICKUP LINES IN THIS FIC ARE NOT MINE! They have been found on tumblr, or sent to me by friends.

Derek isn't proud of his first year at college. He partied too much, drank too much and kissed the wrong girl way too much. He ended up with three cracked ribs and a nasty black mark on his until then clean drivers license. So to save his poor liver and bank account, Derek Hale had decided to be the ideal student. 

Or, he'd give it a valiant effort.

He rocked up too his first year mythology class ten minutes early, trademark leather jacket ditched and replaced by a fluffy maroon jumper with thumb holes. He could feel the stares and the glare from Jackson as he walked down the stairs to take his place on the fourth row up. Michelle, the cuckoo professor who had mentored him last year, gave him a soft smile and a little wave, layered chunky bracelets jangling as she did so. Derek took out his phone and opened up his eBook version of The Hound Of The Baskervilles and began reading. 

The boot had just disappeared when he was jolted from his reading haze by a frankly annoying laugh. He looked down, scanning the first three rows for someone laughing, when his eyes caught the side profile of a man. Well a boy. 

The boy looked barely legal, like he could only just pass for sixteen never mind Nineteen. His pale skin was dotted with moles, his eyes framed by thick rimmed glasses and his lips a raw red. He looked like heaven and hell. He sat perched on the row behind his desk, laughing at something the brown haired boy sat there had said. The boy looked like all of Derek's wet dreams wrapped up in a plaid shirt. He turned his torso, to full focus on the brown haired boy and grinned, incisors biting into his bottom lip. _Fuck._  He looked up at the room through his lashes, deep golden eyes catching Derek's. Then, the little shit, brought his hand up to his mouth. He used his thumb to drag softly against his bottom lip.

 _Laura naked_. Derek chanted, breaking the boy's gaze and looking forward. He was not popping a boner on his first day of his turned around life. Michelle would be so disappointed, he thought to himself, eye's defying his orders and flitting back to the boy who was now smirking. Derek pulled out his laptop and opened a fresh document, staring at the white page like it might sprout wings if he should look away. He could still feel the boy's gaze. A part of Derek wanted to storm down there pull the boy off to some dark corner and have his wicked way with him. But that was the old Derek, one who didn't have to deal with the consequences. His hand brushed the scar on his lower hip and he blinked, his mind setting back on track. 

Michelle saved himself from his thoughts and began talking. 

 

* * *

 

 

Michelle's lecture covered mostly every thing Derek had covered in her class last year, she was taking a new direction this year, thank god. She'd been planning on a lot more grouped projects, which Derek wasn't exactly pleased about but there was nothing he could do. He was closing his laptop when a familiar head popped into his vision.

"Your Face." The boy started, nodding his head as if confirming something.

"What?" Derek furrowed his eyebrows at the boy.

"I like that shit." He grinned, pleased with himself apparently.

"You've lost me." Derek sighed. Curses the boy came with a thrilling personality.

"Your face. I like it. Come on don't make me explain my shitty pick up line. It'll ruin the point." The boy seemed to deflate a little, long limbs falling into Derek's space.

"That was a weak pick up line." Derek shook his head, slotting his laptop into his bag and raising an eyebrow at the boy. "Do you want anything else?"

"Come on, that was good."

"I've heard better from Jackson Whittemore. 'Hi, I have money, sleep with me?'" Derek quirked his eyebrow again and began leaving.

"You did not just rank me with Porshe-y boy!" Stiles angrily stated, arms flailing. "Oh No. I'm going to woo you fluffy jumper dude. You are going to be woo-ed."

"Woop-de-doo." Derek rolled his eyes, stepping out into the aisle. 

"WOO-ED I TELL YOU!"

 

* * *

 

 

Derek hated morning classes, almost as much as he hated mornings really. He plodded, sleepily, into his favourite coffee shop, holding the door open for a girl carrying her weight in books and balancing four cups of coffee on top of them. The ink-haired girl gave him a big smile of thanks. 

"Bye Kira!" The brown haired boy from his Mythology class shouted at the girl. She waved with her head and began down the street. Derek stepped up to the counter, just finishing his order in his head and pursuing the muffin selection.

"Hello there, Mr Eyebrows." That voice broke him from his muffin filled bliss and Derek slowly raised his head to face  _the boy_. "How can I help you today?" His smile took up most of his face and made his glasses fall a little down his nose.

"Mr Eyebrows?" Derek raised an eyebrow.

"Well I never learnt your name before you left, so Mr Eyebrows it is." He beamed again.

"I'll have a black coffee and a lemon drizzle muffin, thanks." Derek quipped.

"The Name's Stiles. If ya wanted to know." Derek doesn't mentally catalogue the name, which come with questions.

"Who names their kid Stiles?" 

"Sadistic Polish parents who in fact managed to choose a worse name to Christen me, so Stiles is my chosen name." Stiles' long fingers were tapping on the till with every breath. "Okay Black coffee and lemon drizzle." 

"Yup."

"Okay, Stand back, sir. It's 'bout to get a mighty steamy here." Stiles said, before leaning on the counter and winking.

"Just get my coffee." Derek sighed.

"No, nothing?" Stiles pursued his lips in anger and went off to prepare the coffee. He came back a few minutes later with the coffee and a small paper bag. "Okay that's five ninety, please." Derek dumped his change in Stiles' hand and reached for his coffee. "Be careful, it's hot." Derek was about protest that he wasn't an idiot when Stiles leaned in. "Like you."

"Oh good god."

 

* * *

 

Derek's roommate is an imbecile. Isaac, his best friend and almost brother, had stolen Derek's copy of The Hound of The Baskervilles to impress this girl with his knowledge. This limited and mostly Derek's knowledge had gotten Isaac laid and left Derek with a crunchy copy of that particular Sherlock Holmes adventure. So begrudgingly he found himself in the nearby book store on his day off, staring at the Arthur Cohan Doyle section trying to figure out how to get the better deal.

"What's up, Watson?" 

"What the hell?" Derek snapped, turning to face Stiles' who stood before him in the trademark Beagles black polo. "Why am I watson?"

"Because. I'm obviously Sherlock. Duh." He gestured to his head where a deerstalker was perched on top of his dark fluffy hair. "It's dress as a historical character day." He plucked a magnifying glass from his back pocket. 

“Yeah. Okay.”

“So er, Is that a hardcover or are you just pleased to see me?” Stiles winked, licking his bottom lip.

“Can I file a complaint?” Derek growled.

“Oh, don't be such a Debbie-downer. You’re looking for Hound of the Baskervilles, si?”

“Yeah.”

“And you're a student, so obvs, you want the cheapest option, oui?”

“Where are you going with this?”

“Don’t look in the classic section. Check the Sale rack at the very back, always have a lil route. I tend to hide the good stuff at the back and I swear I hid a very pretty Hound of the Baskervilles, okay?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Okay. So Scoot.” Stiles gave Derek a little turn and a slap on the ass. “I've got customers.”

Derek found himself grinning the entire way to the sale rack.

 

* * *

 

 

Complete with a just nicely worn copy of Hound of the Baskervilles, a copy of Jane Eyre and a book on mythical serpents, Derek made his way to the till only to see a certain detective manning the only till.

“We need to stop meeting like this, Mr Eyebrows, people are going to think we're fornicating.” Stiles nodded, as if slightly disappointed.

“Yeah, as if.” Derek scoffed, plucking a twenty from his wallet.

“So I'm going to guess you are taking a English Lit class along side your mythology class?”

“I’m a English Lit Major, I had a bad year and had to retake a couple of classes, one of them being Mythology.” Derek explained, not being able to stop his tongue.

“So you're not a first year?” Stiles smirked, scanning Derek’s books. “I thought you had the air of ‘I'm older and that makes me just that bit hotter and out of your league’. How old are you then?”

“Twenty two, I took a few years out before applying to college. Travelled the world.” Derek smiled, thinking of his years back packing around the US and Europe.

“I imagine that must have been amazing. I’ve never been out of California, well once me and my buddy Scott took a road trip down to Mexico but I don’t think that counts. My dad caught us half way there.” Stiles tapped the till a few times then flashed a sales winning smile. “That’s eighteen twenty, please and thank you monsieur.” Derek handed him the twenty and Stiles handed him the books. Their fingers did not softly brush and it didn’t send tingled through Derek’s palm at all.

 

Derek pulled himself out of the pool, grabbing his towel and rubbing his hair dry. With having to deal with Stiles almost every day; the boy worked everywhere, Derek spent more time working off all of the sexual tension through working out. He'd even started swimming, jogging, Yoga and Zumba fitness (He lost a bet to Erica).

“Damn, are your trunks goggles? Because they sure are tight.”

“Is there anywhere you don’t work?” Derek turned around to face Stiles, who stood looking fetching even in the awful lifeguard yellow and red.

“I'm just covering for Danny, he’s got Mono.” Stiles shrugged, coming to sit next to Derek. “I start in twenty minutes. New job and all wanted to get familiar.”

“How many jobs do you have?”

“Four not counting this one. Coffee shop; Monday & Wednesday morning. Bookshop; Saturdays and Sundays. Then Tuesday & Friday I work where I’m not telling you. As that’s a surprise and then my Thursday’s are entirely dedicated to my meals on wheels commitments. I cook for my dad.” Stiles’ had mentioned his father when they'd ran into each other the other day and they’d walked to their Mythology class together. “Then word got around and now it’s a business.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “So I saw you in Zumba.” Derek’s heart stopped. “Your hips definitely don’t lie.”

Derek found himself laughing, Stiles along with him.

“Oo, Look at him, leaving his position and letting them little kiddies drown. No fear, Mr Eyebrows. It’s the Stiles to the rescue.” He stole Derek’s towel and went to hop on the lifeguard stand.

Derek guessed another few laps wouldn't hurt.

 

* * *

 

 

“So, you're the College IT Guy?” Derek asked, holding his broken laptop out to Danny.

“Yup. I sure am. I know I’m too hot to be a computer nerd. And yes, I swing your way.” Danny winked at him, taking the laptop off him.

“I swing your also, I’m just not interested.”

“I know that look.” Danny grinned. “What’s his name?”

“It’s not- I mean. He’s nothing.”

“So you have someone on your mind?”

“What? No!”

“Okay! Okay!” Danny flung a hand up in surrender. “By the way, you’ve got lube in your keyboard. Don’t worry! I know just what to do! My roommate is a murder for this. I keep telling him, Stiles, Stop. Will he listen? No!”

“Stiles?”

“Yeah Stiles Stilinski, You know him?”

“Yeah he’s in my mythology.”

“Wait, are you Mr Eyebrows?!”

“What? No.”

 

* * *

 

 

“MR EYEBROWS!!”

“Stiles. You’re a clown.” Derek said, slowly taking in the boy in front of him.

“Yeah I am.” Stiles beamed, his painted on mouth stretching further than it should. He was holding a large thing blue balloon in his hand and waddling in his comically large shoes.

“Why are you a clown?”

“This is my Tuesday/Thursday job! Normally I’m something a bit more tasteful, like a magician in a suit or something, but alas today my boss decided today is the day I should become a clown. I’ve got skilled hands when it comes too balloons.” Stiles said before hastily adding a wink. “I realised how it could be an innuendo.”

“You’re. A. Clown.” _I have a crush on a clown._

“Yes. You idiot. So, err, how would you like to see the big top?” Stiles elbowed Derek and gave a big wink.

“You’re an idiot.”

“We’ve moved away from the fact I’m a clown!” Stiles punched the air, and  began twisting the balloon into a dog shape. “It’s a wolf. For you sour puss.” He looked down at the wolf and back to Derek. “SOUR WOLF!”

“What even are you?”

“See you tomorrow Sour Wolf!”

 

* * *

 

 

Derek looked at the cards in his hands. _Okay._ He thought. _Breathe. You can do this. You are a Hale. You have nerves of Steel._

“Okay.” He breathed and plunged into the coffee shop.

“Hey Mr Eyebrows!” Stiles waved over.

“Derek. My name is Derek.” Derek smiled up at him.

“It suits you.” Stiles beamed.

“So… Erm… You damn… I- I mean…uh…I don’t need a vaccine for your cooties because I don’t want to be immune to you yea…shit.”

“Derek, are you trying to woo me?”

“Maybe.” Derek blinked at his cards. “Erm. I like you a latte.”

“I like you too.” Stiles grinned, leaning over the counter, grabbing Derek by his jumper and kissing him. 

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Teen Wolf, it's characters or plots and do not intend to make any profits from this work of fiction.
> 
> Check me out on [TUMBLR](http://a-littlesomething-different.tumblr.com/)  
> 


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